*triggers: contains description of physical assault
Katherine Parkinson is the two‑time BAFTA‑winning actor beloved for The IT Crowd, Doc Martin, Humans and most recently, Rivals, the hit Jilly Cooper adaptation that became an international Emmy winner. Fresh from her latest BAFTA win, she joins Elizabeth to reflect on the unexpected turns that shaped her life – from Surbiton to Oxford, from comedy to chaos, and from self‑doubt to a hard‑won sense of confidence.
In this episode, we talk about her childhood dreams of becoming an astronaut, how her brothers are convinced she’s in MI5 (we will never know), the class anxieties that coloured her university years, her lifelong battle with disorganisation and the pressure she put on herself to “earn her place”. Katherine also opens up – for the first time – about a violent assault she minimised for years, the shame she carried and how motherhood has reframed her understanding of fear, safety and resilience.
We also explore the joy she found in acting, the liberation of embracing her own contradictions, the friendships that sustained her and the work that goes into rebuilding after trauma.
✨ IN THIS EPISODE:
00:00 Intro
03:48 Northern Ireland Roots
04:06 Why Rivals Works
05:34 Class and Oxford
08:08 Lizzie and Fred Fred
10:51 Jilly Cooper Loss
14:03 Failure One Disorganised
15:46 Exam Breakdown Story
19:14 Fear of Winning
20:52 MI5 and Astronaut Dreams
22:07 Academia vs Acting
23:07 Pressure and Perfectionism
23:59 Choosing the Actor Path
25:23 Facing Unprocessed Trauma
26:04 Assault
30:03 Shame and Cultural Context
33:45 Anxiety and Motherhood
38:56 Anger and Survival Instincts
40:08 Oboe Failure and Braces
42:21 Failing Freely as an Actor
43:49 Happiness and Goodbye
💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:
“My mum has always said to me, ‘You’re not afraid to fail’”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a company [as Rivals] where everybody makes me laugh so much, and that is literally all I care about.”
“I used to want to be an astronaut.”
🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:
All episodes of Rivals are now available to stream on Disney+ in the UK and internationally, with new episodes dropping weekly and a second instalment arriving later in the year. In the US, the series is available exclusively on Hulu.
Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content
Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com
📚 WANT MORE?
Danny Dyer – the actor and national treasure on identity, anger, vulnerability and learning to break the patterns you were born into: swap.fm/l/L192dU5DZHQnCUjFWuX8
Miranda Hart – the beloved comedian and writer on anxiety, belonging, people-pleasing and finding the courage to take up space: swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu
💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?
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Website: www.elizabethday.org
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Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan
Engineer: Matias Torres
Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson
Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot
Executive Producer: Alex Lawless
How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.
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