Hannah Murray found fame when she was just 17, playing the self-destructive Cassie in E4’s Skins. She juggled an English degree at Cambridge University alongside playing Gilly in HBO’s Game Of Thrones and went on to film Detroit, directed by Kathryn Bigelow.
When the physical and mental stress required from these roles began to take its toll, Murray sought treatment from a reiki healer. From there, her life began to spiral as she became heavily involved with a ‘healing’ organisation whose promises of real-life magic and enlightenment were increasingly seductive. She ended up being sectioned after a psychotic break and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Now, she has written her first book. The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness is a deeply personal account of these events, written with compulsive lyricism. It takes readers on a journey to the edges of reality, where magic is possible, and where the liminal space between what is real and what is imagined becomes ever more porous.
In this episode we delve into Hannah’s breakdown and what it taught her. We discuss living with BPD, her decision to quit acting and why, as a society, it’s so important to talk about severe mental health conditions - even if it makes us uncomfortable. Plus: when does our modern obsession with ‘wellness’ go too far?
✨ IN THIS EPISODE:
00:00 Introduction
04:30 Acting Roles and Emotional Toll
07:51 The Memoir
09:17 Traumatic Filming and Aftermath
11:57 Failure to Be Happy Always
16:06 Rapture Highs and Bipolar
18:14 Reiki Rabbit Hole and Cult Questions
28:50 Wellness as Addiction
30:25 Hotel Breakdown Begins
32:17 Exorcism and Delusions
33:26 Realizing You're Sectioned
35:18 Medication and Coming Back
36:12 Shame to Compassion
42:55 Bipolar Mania Explained
48:41 Leaving Acting and Moving On
💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:
On the nature of modern mental health discourse: "What if I want to talk about when I was drinking my own urine on a psychiatric ward? You can’t really say that at a dinner party... there is still a big taboo around psychosis, bipolar, schizophrenia, and other conditions that are less palatable and less kind of cozy."
🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:
The Make-Believe by Hannah Murray is available now in hardback and audio, read by Hannah https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/471422/the-make-believe-by-murray-hannah/9781529155211
Hannah will be in conversation with Jessie Cave at Kings Place on Friday 5th June. Link to tickets here: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/words/hannah-murray-in-conversation-with-jessie-cave/
Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content
Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com
📚 WANT MORE?
Jennette McCurdy - discusses childhood fame, toxic family dynamics, eating disorders, grief and how reclaiming her own identity after her mother’s death ultimately set her free: swap.fm/l/DqqwmylXlnMvnfOmG53z
Marian Keyes - the bestselling writer on addiction, creative insecurity and body image: swap.fm/l/3opU8XRCVTQLV4v994U5
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