In this powerful episode of Talk With Silje, I’m thrilled to sit down with the fearless feminist writer, filmmaker, and activist Vaishnavi Sundar for an unfiltered conversation that dives deep into the intersections of identity, ideology, and women’s autonomy.
As a clinical psychologist, I must confess I feel a profound sense of shame about how my professional community has often failed to critically engage with these issues, too often aligning with ideological trends over evidence-based practice. Vaishnavi, an independent Indian filmmaker known for her bold critiques of gender identity ideology and its global impact, joins me to share her groundbreaking work amplifying silenced female voices.
We unpack her documentary, Behind the Looking Glass, the first to spotlight "trans widows"—women whose partners transitioned, leaving emotional devastation. With raw testimonies from women like Jo Bartosch and Genevieve Gluck, and insights from experts like Helen Joyce and Derrick Jensen, it exposes the silence around these victims amid celebrated transition narratives.
We also dive into her series, Dysphoric: Fleeing Womanhood Like a House on Fire, a poignant exploration of gender dysphoria’s roots in misogyny, corporate commodification of womanhood, and Western ideology’s spread to India. Through animations, music, and voices of clinicians, detransitioners, feminists, and parents, it traces why young girls seek irreversible transitions to escape patriarchal pressures.At the core is Vaishnavi’s fight against “wokism,” a progressive ideology she argues erodes women’s protections by prioritizing self-identified gender over biological realities, often harming girls, families, and free speech.
She shares her journey from surviving abuse in India to facing protests and censorship in the UK. As a psychologist, I see trauma, cognitive dissonance, and social contagion at play, and I’m troubled by my field’s reluctance to engage critically due to fear of controversy.
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► CHAPTERS
00:00 - Start
02:50 - Goals and Impact of "Behind the Looking Glass"
04:02 - The Concept of Trans Widows and Family Trauma
05:37 - Personal Experiences Filming the Documentary
10:04 - Domestic Abuse and Societal Silence
11:56 - Inspiration Behind the Film and Connection to "Dysphoric"
19:59 - Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Marriages
23:20 - Autogynephilia
28:00 - Listening to womens trauma stories
33:40 - Vaishnavis childhood in Chennai
39:00 - Self-Doubt and Turning to Feminism
45:00 - Feminism in India and Norway
01:03:48 - Dysphoric
01:26:07 - Social Contagion
01:27:04 - Parallels to Eating Disorders and Puberty Blockers
01:28:46 - Comparing to Lobotomy
01:32:42 - Media's Role and Societal Blindness
01:35:00 - Lime Soda Films
01:37:22 - Challenges from Gender Ideology Criticism
01:39:02 - Celebrating Women's Work and Future Plans
► REFERENCES
Vaishnavi’s homepage: https://vaishnavisundar.com/
The dysphoric series: https://limesodafilms.com/dysphoric/
Behind the looking glass documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frffv2sB8zE&t=12s
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