David Sedaris - ‘My Father Said I Was A Bad Influence Because I Was Gay’

2. september 2026 · 52m

David Sedaris is one of America’s best-loved humorists, famous for turning the absurdities of everyday life into razor-sharp, deeply human essays. He joins Elizabeth Day on How to Fail to talk about the moments that have shaped him: from dropping out of university and ending up in his parents’ basement at 20, to being thrown out by his father and growing up with a parent who seemed to actively invest in his failure.

He talks candidly about heartbreak after a breakup at 32, the fear of being alone, grief at losing the people we love and his past crystal meth addiction and sobriety.

We also hear about the embarrassment of dropping out of Japanese school in Tokyo at 50…and the possibility of a cameo on The Archers.



IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Intro

03:39 How His Writing Evolved

04:27 Train Music Confrontation

07:03 Failure One: Dropping Out

10:38 A Father Rooting Against Him

13:16 Money Promises and Betrayal

18:03 Thrown Out and Self Worth

20:31 Friendship and Grief

23:22 Failure Two: Breakup at 32

27:38 Writing Love And Routine

28:46 Sharon The Practical Mom

33:08 Heartbreak Versus Grief

35:54 Crystal Meth And Fear

38:59 Conceptual Art On Fire

40:24 Tokyo Japanese School Quit

46:08 The Archers Cameo


💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

“I just took every bit of advice [my father] ever gave me and did the opposite, and it was a really good strategy.”

“Fear kept me drinking. Fear kept me smoking. Fear kept me from leaving.”

“You’re never going to get what you want if you don’t work for it.”

“Every day is a new beginning.”


🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

The Land and Its People by David Sedaris is widely available across both online retailers and physical bookstores in the US and the UK.

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com


📚 WANT MORE?

Dawn French - on fertility, friendship and being an anti-perfectionist http://swap.fm/l/NJDrzxLKhyi6icOrxmHT

Simon Cowell - on judgement, power and the uncomfortable responsibility of shaping someone’s future http://swap.fm/l/hSwuCNEuZNgnaG20v0yB


💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org


Elizabeth and David answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR



Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com



Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless



How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

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David Sedaris - ‘My Father Said I Was A Bad Influence Because I Was Gay’

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